5 Tips to Preserve your Identity in a Relationship
Photo Courtesy: Ed Yourdon
Have you ever been in a relationship and found yourself slowly disappearing? Sometimes it can be difficult to maintain your individuality in a relationship. Here are some ways in which you can prevent your identity from being totally effaced.
1. Pursue your interests
One way to make sure that you preserve your identity is to pursue your individual interests. This could be anything like taking up a drawing class, going out to dance, or working on your car. Don’t let your relationship make you forget the things that you are passionate about. Your interests and hobbies help you mold yourself and they should always hold an important place in your life.
2. Have your own set of friends
It’s always a good idea to spend time with your own set of friends. Sometimes when a couple is in a relationship they share everything including friends. This may sometimes feel like you are losing your individuality. Maintaining a separate set of friends in addition to the mutual ones you share, allows you to stay in touch with who you are.
3. Don’t try to be a mirror image of your partner
It’s common for people in a relationship to feel like they are extensions of one another. This should not be mistaken with being one and the same person. While it is nice to imbibe positive attributes from your partner, they do not require a second self in the relationship. Being close to the person you care about should not mean throwing away who you are. Make it a point to maintain your unique traits, thoughts and opinions, even if you assimilate your partner’s behavior.
4. Maintain your goals and aims
No matter how old you are or what stage your relationship is at, maintaining your goals and aims is imperative if you want to stay true to yourself. This could include a weekly or monthly goal you set for yourself, or a promise you make to yourself that you absolutely have to keep. Such goals become more important when you are a parent as you must learn to recognize the need to set aside time and achieve the little and big goals that help define who you are.
5. Remember that you have a multi-faceted identity
Everyone plays more than one role in life. You could be a parent, a lover, a friend, a sibling, a boss. Keep in mind that all these facets are integral to your unique identity and fulfilling them is important to you. Don’t let the demands of your relationship make you forget who you are. Allow both, yourself and your partner to recognize the beauty and complexity of your identity and make an effort to preserve its existence.
